Yesterday, I attended the Positive Emoji : Managing your Emotions and Stress Management Session by Ricky John Goyeneche at the 9000 Events office. I knew I needed this since I continually juggle my career, family life, studies and business and with all these things, I get too stressed out and emotional sometimes. I was really glad I joined because I learned something new which I can apply to my day-to-day activities and with my relationships with other people.
With the other participants as we listen to Coach Ricky's session.
Here are 3 takeaways from the session.
1. Anger is a cry for comfort or a cry for help.
The session started with a discussion about emotions, particularly negative emotions. I learned that there is an anatomy to it and if we know and understand it, we can prepare ourselves and respond to different situations accurately.
The session started with a discussion about emotions, particularly negative emotions. I learned that there is an anatomy to it and if we know and understand it, we can prepare ourselves and respond to different situations accurately.
First, a negative emotion is triggered when a sense of loss is felt (e.g. loss of connection, opportunity, respect, love). It is natural for us as humans to feel good when we achieve or gain something but we also immediately feel bad when we lose something, especially if it's something that we value. When this happens, we begin to feel the hurt and most often than not, this leads to anger. And we all know that anger can lead to resentment or suppression (which can cause depression).
One thing that I won't forget in this part of the session is learning that anger is just a cry for comfort or help. Looking back to my previous experiences, I realize it's really true that when I am angry to a particular person, I am just looking for an affirmation or assurance that the person will do something good to make it up to his/her mistakes/failure. If all people will realize this, then there will be no big fights and relationships will become more harmonious. If we realize that when somebody is angry towards us, we won't add fire to the fire and instead, respond with ease, comfort, and love.
2. We do not control. We prepare.
The second part of the session was about Stress and though the existence of stress is debatable, we can say that it happens when we are unable to cope with sudden change.
For people like me who manages time and plans ahead of time, I get stressed and somehow irritated/frustrated when things go differently from what I have planned. And yet, there are changes that we cannot control such as when there is a new activity at work, a new rule to follow, a new boss, and so on. So our goal now is not to be in control but to be prepared. We must be able to prepare ourselves when that change comes. We must learn to anticipate. We must remember that we can still cope up with the changes and that there is still a lot of time to do things that we want to do.
3. The Power of Reframes
It was my first time to hear about the power of reframes and it's actually a very easy concept. Our negative thought usually starts with the phrase "What if" followed by a negative statement (e.g. What if I cannot do it?) and when we continuously have these kinds of negative thoughts, it causes a lot of stress, it diminishes productivity, and it hurts relationships. In order to counter this, we can simply change our statement to What if + Positive Thought (e.g. What if I can successfully do it?).
Also, the choice of words that we use in our everyday conversations also affect us and other people. To be able to have a more positive perspective in life, we must change our words into something more positive. For example, instead of saying that "I have a problem", we can say "I currently have a challenge". By doing so, we can act upon it and do something about it.
There is so much to learn about our Brain and our Emotions. To learn more about this, consult Coach Ricky John Goyeneche and be more prepared to face challenges in our lives.
As what Coach Ricky will always say, "Be more. Love more. Bless more.".
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